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    Kinghorn Heritage Law Group, PLC

    Tucson Estate Planning Attorneys

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    Home / Estate Planning Services / Trust Administration and Probate / The Mourner's Bill of Rights

    The Mourner's Bill of Rights

    By Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

    1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don’t allow them to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.
    2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want about your grief.
    3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt, and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don’t take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
    4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing things you don’t feel ready to do.
    5. You have the right to experience grief ”attacks.” Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but it is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.
    6. You have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More important, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you that rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don’t listen.
    7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
    8. You have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, “Why did she or he die? Why this way? Why now?” Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, “It was God’s will” or “Think of what you have to be thankful for” are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
    9. You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.
    10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.

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    In this day and age it is very rewarding and comforting to make a major decision for the long-term security of your family. Over 14 years ago we decided upon the Kinghorn Heritage Family to create our family trust. Through the years it became very evident that this decision was a major and necessary step for a secure future in an ever-changing legal climate. The Kinghorn Family has been a close friend that has always been there to serve our family.

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    Many of us are surprised that our assets may not go to those named in our Will. However, if you have assets controlled by beneficiary designations or other non-probate transfers, that’s the case. Read on to learn how a Will might not control all your assets. Read on to learn more.

    Chandler V. Client Review September 8, 2020

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    Estate Planning attorneys are sometimes criticized for offering needlessly complex, 'canned' solutions. This never has been the case with Kevin. The documents he created were comprehensive when appropriate and surprisingly simple when suitable. In every case, they were individually crafted to meet our unique needs.

    Rich D. Client Review September 8, 2020

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